Your photos are the most important part of your dating app profile. Yet, virtually every guy is making at least one major mistake in their profile. Myself included, until I learned what I was actually doing. Here are the most common ones, and why.
1. Selfies
You’ve probably heard this one before, but it needs repeating. Stop using selfies. It literally doesn’t matter how good you look in them, they’re always a bad choice. Selfie at the gym, showing off your ripped physique? I’m sure it’s a good photo, and women really love abs and muscles (trust me). But that photo would be so much better if it were taken at the beach, or at a lake, or while you’re out playing volleyball. You get the idea. Selfie on a hike with a scenic background? That’s cool, but you need to have a friend snap your photo instead. You’ll look better that way.
The main problem with selfies is that they just make you look lonely. I could talk about focal length and camera angles, but it’s all besides the point. The more selfies you have in your profile, the more it will look like you don’t have friends. Guys with lots of friends will always have somebody to take their picture, and women know that. And, if you do have friends, but they never take your photo, just ask. You’re allowed to inconvenience someone for five seconds if it means making major upgrades to your dating app profile, and thus your relationship success.
2. Solo Photos Only
On that note, you need to have friends in your photos. There’s a lot of (horrible) advice out there about not including friends in your photos. There’s also some (slightly better) advice about having one singular friends photo at the end of your profile, but this is still not enough. The best male Hinge profiles have at least two photos with friends, and oftentimes even three or four. Some guys out there will tell you not to include social photos, because women won’t know who you are, but this is nonsense. As long as you have one clear photo of your face somewhere in your profile (ideally your first or second photo, but it can theoretically be anywhere), you’re good.
The reason social photos are so important is that, quite simply, they make you look popular. Think back to high school. The popular kids were always more fun to be around, more exciting, more desirable. Turns out, high school never ends (good song btw). Social photos are exactly what make you look more popular. Tip: they’re even better when you’re out doing things, like going to house parties, attending a wedding, being on a boat. The popular kid kind of stuff.
But what if you don’t feel popular? What if you *weren’t* one of the popular kids in high school? Do you still need social photos?
Absolutely.
You need to show that you have friends in your profile photos, even if you don’t look popular, even if you and your friends are just sitting on the dirt hanging out with each other. Put yourself in the woman’s perspective. If she doesn’t see any friends hanging out with you, why would she want to either?
3. Strictly Appearance Focussed Photos
As men, it’s easy for us to know if we like a woman. Most men will say that their number 1 priority is to date a girl who’s attractive. We’re visual creatures! So when we look at women’s profiles, our first priority will be to know what they look like from all angles so we can judge how attractive they are. When you’re thinking like this, it’s easy to imagine that this is exactly what women want from men too, and that we should just post a bunch of photos where we show off how we look from many different angles.
WRONG.
Unless you’re a male model, every woman is just 5-10 swipes away from a better looking guy
Women want to know a EVERYTHING about you. I’ve been on many online dates where they confess to stalking me the night before using their Sherlock Holmes-like abilities. Focussing solely on your looks is a recipe for disaster. You are leaving huge gaps in your profile where they might have connected with your love for photography, board games, DIY projects, salsa dancing, or the New England Patriots… Focussing exclusively on your looks is a recipe for DISASTER, because no matter how attractive you are, there’s always another guy more attractive just a few swipes away. You need to focus on being unique and THE guy she’s looking for. Not just A guy.
4. Dull / Low Quality Images
Do you love beauty and color? I do. Whether it’s landscapes, sunsets, painting, comics, video games, sports, or cosplay outfits. Color and detail create better entertainment and experiences, and the world would be a little less interesting without them.
If a game like street fighter came out in black and white today, would you play it? When you can choose from Elden Ring, Overwatch, Black Ops, or Halo Infinite?? NO WAY. If you prefer your video games in black and white, then you also wish all dating app were in sepia. 🤦🏼♂️
I’ve played early 2000s video games with more color than some men’s dating profiles.
Your online dating profile is an ad for you and your life. Make your life look exciting and vibrant!
Don’t expect women to swipe right on your profile if it looks like a 1990’s video game.
5. Showing your face in every photo
You have a huge collection of photos in your phone showing all the cool things you’ve done. When you start online dating, you might think that you need to showcase your face in every photo, too. The problem with this, is that out of the cool photos you have, you aren’t going to be perfect visible in most of them, and that’s okay! Look at this ski photo.
If this is you, you should 100% include this photo! Who cares that we can’t see your face, you’re AWESOME. If women learn from your first 2 photos that you have a hot bod, a great jawline, and a mustache like Tom Selleck, you don’t have to show your face in the rest. If you strictly follow the conventional wisdom of “Thou shalt reveal thine face in every online dating photo”, then accordingly, “thou shalt get fewer matches”. Show off your sweet ski jump, or the time you went cliff diving. Your other photos already show what you look like, let them do their job, and use the rest of your photos to look awesome.
Conclusion:
That’s it, if you avoid these 5 mistakes in your online dating profile, you will be leagues ahead of many other men. Stay tuned for our other posts as we seek to help men find greater online dating success.
TLDR: The 5 Mistakes
- Using Selfies
- Exclusively using Solo Photos
- Only focussing on your looks
- Using low resolution, low quality, low color images
- Showing your face in every photo
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